Surgery or not?

I think you may need head surgery first- get that all sorted out and you wont have a problem with your pink bits!  

How do you expect to get off and enjoy your woman hood if your thinking negative about them:(( But who am I to talk-I was booked in to have surgery-for some unknown reason something went click in my brain and I thought stuff it " I love my pink bits" and if  someone cant love and accept me the way I am then their just not worth it-full stop ! I never had a problem with my labia just other peoples view on them and thats no reason to go and mutilate your body for someone elses idea of beauty;p  
Ask yourself-if you met a guy and he only had one testicle/bend in his willy-would you insult him? would you tell him to go fix it up? I know I wouldnt-I would love and accept that person for who they are;p

Sad:
It's just like you said - the surgery is not about 'looking' better but to make you feel better about your body.
I won't pretend that cosmetic surgery does not have the power to help a person have a better opinion of their body.  
But the critical issue is how you view yourself.
If you had a problem with your lips for YEARS before your unfortunate relationship with your ex, then I would support your considering surgery.
However... you are 18. I'd strongly advise you to wait a few more years.  
Just consider... you are on a site where men and women are delighted, I repeat: DELIGHTED, with women like yourself.
So do a little 'what-if' exercise... WHAT IF you met a guy who couldn't get enough of your pussy and let you know how beautiful you are down there.... would that make a difference?
If you can answer NO without a pause to think... then you have a serious problem either with your self image or with your vagina (physically). For a physical issue, surgery probably could help.
But for self-image issues... the BEST option is learning to love yourself and finding a partner who appreciates what you have can help, but the most important thing is to get out of that mindset that you are ugly down there.
Have you looked at the pics on this site?
Do you find any of them unattractive?

I completely understand where youre coming from.. no matter how far i come sometimes with feeling better about myself, i always revert back to the same thing... contemplating surgery. I actually found myself on a labiaplasty website today and yesterday for the first time in probably a year. While i can understand that you dont see yourself EVER feeling any different about your body, I definately think that 18 is too young to decide whether or not to have surgery. I think the loss of sensation is enough to keep me from getting surgery.. although, in my case, i dont seem to get any pleasure from my lips either..theyre just kinda there. Also, when i look at the before and after pictures.. im really not that impressed with the after pictures either... They either still look big, or they look odd bc the lips have been shortened but the hood doesnt ever seem to be equally minimized (if that makes sense). I guess overall what im saying is its a really huge decision and i think you should wait at least a few years before making it...

Sad,

Surgery is a temporary fix to a permanent problem, and that is how you FEEL, which you just explained.

You were born with the lips you have the way you have them for a reason -- it's what makes your pussy unique.

It's a shame that the men you've been with have all been inexperienced (real men know that all pussy is sexy and beautiful), or just flat out did not know what they were looking at.

You're young.. ..you're only 18.  Try sex with more men (or women if you prefer) before making that decision, because trust me, as you get older, and in turn the men you start to date and have sex with get older, you'll find that the opinion about your pussy and how big your lips are will change, and in fact be the exact opposite of what you've experienced so far.

If sex isn't enjoyable at the moment, I suggest you find out what makes you feel good first, and then direct your sexual partners from there about what makes you feel good (it'll make the sex that much better for you).

So to answer your question, NO, I don't think it's a good option for you to get the surgery.  You'd just let some bonehead doctor destroy that yummy thing between your legs. =09

- Eric

Sad,  

If you've been following this sight for awhile, then you must know that I think that in the vast majority of the cases the surgery is an abomination pushed upon us by our instant gratification society, and a bunch of unscrupulous surgeons who should have a variety of creative and extremely painful things done to them.  

You are young, as it seems that the majority of girls with a poor self image  are. And it would be a pretty safe guess that all of you EX boyfriends were young too. I think that young men are the main cause of the poor self image of young women. I guess it's a good thing that they are exes, and not currents.

I would suggest not being too quick to engage in sex for now, that should be easy since you've already said stat you don't enjoy it. If you are considering having sex with someone, let him know ahead of time what your insecurities are. If he bolts then he doesn't deserve what you have, move on to the next lucky candidate. if he knows and still wants you, then he may be worth investing some time in. Chances are, that's going to end up being an older guy, since a true appreciation of the beauty of the pussy usually doesn't manifest itself until the man has been around a bit. You may find a guy your own age who knows what to do with a woman though, they're rare, but they do exist. Once you find a man who sees your pussy as the beautiful, exquisite flower that it is, then a healthy enjoyment of sex should follow. Please think long and hard about the surgery though, the only thing sadder that a woman who hates her pussy, is the women who've gotten the surgery and then regretted it.

To try to answer your questions, firstly, as I understand it, the surgery you're talking about costs thousands, and, like most surgeries, has mixed results with complications ranging from dangerous infections to not achieving the appearance you think you are looking for.  After all, you would be mutilating the most intimate parts of your body.  Secondly, I don't feel that the surgery is appropriate for you, particularly at your young age.  Among other things, your  mental attitude has yet to catch up with how your body is maturing.  Your experience level is also very limited.  For example, you mention the boys you have been with, or want to meet.  I would suggest that you look for someone slightly older, more mature, with a real adult's view of a woman's body.  Most men will simply love your lips.  But first, you must learn to love yourself, and be confident and proud.  I always recommend that such young women play with themselves a lot, and develop a good solid relationship with themselves first.  Learn to love your body, and what it can do for you, especially all of the pleasure and joy it can give to you.  I hope that you read all of the comments here on sexylabia, so that you learn to understand how most men view what you apparently consider to be a problem.  I imagine that you feel as you do because of comments made to you by a couple of immature, very young men.  Don't allow their boorishness and incivility negatively affect your life, or how you view yourself.  You are worth far more.  I'm quite sure that your body is beautiful, and something about which you should be proud.  Something to remember is that it is yours.  It belongs to you.  And anyone who doesn't appreciate it shouldn't be allowed to play with it.

Thanks for your answers! =)  

I am more confused now, you are all right about what you say. I should really wait a few years before I make a descision and  the boys I have been with was still virgins...so yes i guess that they were quite inexperienced.  

And i have to tell you, it's just not about that surgery would make me feel better it's about the way that my lips looks aswell. And well, I like them more now when I'm shaved (don't really know why) and when I'm not horny (:P) they are smaller. So I like them a little bit actually but the biggest problem is how guys would react, I am a shy girl with bad confidence so that's the biggest issue.  

I have read all your answers and this "what if" exercise was very good =). I know that if I guy would say that I am beautiful down there and that it didn't matter to him if my lips were big or not ofcourse It would make a difference, then I would feel comfortable with my lips and be able to appreciate them more than I do know.

But for me it's so hard to let a guy know that I have big lips, it's embarrassing and I've got this crazy idea that it's rare and bad.  

Eric you really made me smile, you could definitaly be the man of my dreams by saying all that :P. I will wait a few years and be with more men before I make a desicion about surgery or not. And really, the thought of a surgery scares me :S.  

And Adonis: No I don't find the pictures unattractive, It's just me that always look down on myself =/.

Would you like to have my hotmail adress?  
I would like to talk to you more =)  

I am so happy for your answers, thanks!

Hi Sad. Because of the usual delay in the way messages are posted, the two messages above yours (by tempest_driver and The Marquis) weren't visible yet when you made your latest post. Sorry about that. I'm sure their additional advice will help you to further accept the looks of your vulva. One day you will be calling yourself "Glad" instead of "Sad."

From what I have learned plastic surgeons who promote labia surgery couldn't care less about their patients well-being, although they should because they are doctors in the first place. Read this thread to see what I mean.

Sad,  

I hope that some of the letters helped you out a little at least. I am pleased that you have decided to wait on the decision to undergo what I think of as a largely  unnecessary tragedy.

I noted that you said that you like the way you look more now that you've shaved, I am completely in tune with that, it's probably because I'm an American, and American women remove their body hair much more than is common in other parts of the world, or so I've been led to understand. And so removal of the pubic hair is just a natural step in the expression of femininity for me. Or it could just be that I'm such a vagina devotee and without hair the view of the true object of my desire is left unobstructed.

A few weeks ago I made a suggestion to a woman who had similar doubts about her labia, and the reaction I got from her was surprisingly positive, so I'll offer you a similar suggestion. Before you can get over how you feel about your labia you're going to have to develop a relationship with your vagina. I know this may seem odd to you, but it seems that all too often people are taught to be ashamed of their bodies on some level, and that extends to an idea that our fun parts are somehow obscene or dirty and must be kept hidden. Let me ask you a question. When was the last time that you looked at your vagina, I mean really got down there and gave her a real thorough looking over?

I recommend you get a mirror, go be alone and spend some time exploring. Look at all of the beautiful colors and textures. Tough her, open her up and look inside, play with her a little and see how she swells and opens up like a delicate flower waiting to be pollinated as you get excited.  

For me there is nothing in the world that can compare to a sight such as that. I know that the Idea of doing this may make some women uncomfortable, but I highly recommend it. It just occurs to me that unless you resort to this sort of thing, A woman really has no way of knowing just how lovely her vagina is. And I must admit that I would not be nearly the fan of big luscious labia that I am were it not for the delights that they suggest are hidden beneath

Sad, if you have lingering doubts about your beauty and attractiveness, pick some of the commentors here, and share a few photos with them in order to get their reactions to the reality of your body.  You will be amazed at the results.

Hey Sad. . .

I am more confused now, you are all right about what you say. I should really wait a few years before I make a descision and  the boys I have been with was still virgins...so yes i guess that they were quite inexperienced.

** Well, I can tell you this. . .if you are confused, then that is even more of a reason to hold out on making a decision about surgery.  A confused decision is usually not a good one.  And don't let your friends, or the inexperienced boys you've been with pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

And i have to tell you, it's just not about that surgery would make me feel better it's about the way that my lips looks aswell. And well, I like them more now when I'm shaved (don't really know why) and when I'm not horny (:P) they are smaller. So I like them a little bit actually but the biggest problem is how guys would react, I am a shy girl with bad confidence so that's the biggest issue.

** From what I've seen, there isn't a such thing as an "ugly" pussy -- all pussy is sexy, whether the lips are large or small, thick or thin, dark pink, light pink, or otherwise.  I'm sure that you will not find a man who is experienced that will disagree with me.  Also, I'll tell you something about guys. . .your lips becoming larger when you're turned on is usually a good sign for an experienced man.  It's a sign that he knows what he's doing, and in effect turns him on that he's turned YOU on. =0)  You're not alone either in having confidence issues.  A recent study done by Cambridge University on female self-esteem shows that in a random sampling of 100 women aged 18-31, that at least 1 out of 4 women had low self-esteem, or struggled with some other kind of body image or self-image issue.  That is a startling number.  It means if you and your friends are in the same room, and there are 8 of you in the same room, you and someone else have a self-esteem issue!  So you are not alone!  Personally, in my opinion, most women, I'd say 8 out of 10 do not have anything to be concerned about because they are attractive in some way or another, to some representation of the male population.  What's beautiful to me, is not necessarily beautiful to the next man, and vice versa.  But I think most men will agree. . .there is no such thing as an unattractive pussy -- we're just hard wired to want to lick and stick as much pussy as possible. =0)

I have read all your answers and this "what if" exercise was very good =). I know that if I guy would say that I am beautiful down there and that it didn't matter to him if my lips were big or not ofcourse It would make a difference, then I would feel comfortable with my lips and be able to appreciate them more than I do know.

** Well, all you need to do is keep doing what you're doing then.  The right man will eventually come along, and treat your pussy so good, you'll wonder why you ever doubted yourself in the first place.  So my advice??  Just be patient.

But for me it's so hard to let a guy know that I have big lips, it's embarrassing and I've got this crazy idea that it's rare and bad.

** Well, it's not.  You don't even have to mention it to a guy.  It's not a disease or some kind of secret you tell someone on a first date.  If a man is respectful of you enough, and makes you feel good enough for you to want to give him your pussy in the first place, odds are, he's not gonna be the kinda guy who's going to have a problem with big lips.  In fact, I would think he'd be rather excited at the opportunity you're giving him at all!

Eric you really made me smile, you could definitaly be the man of my dreams by saying all that :P. I will wait a few years and be with more men before I make a desicion about surgery or not. And really, the thought of a surgery scares me :S.

** Thanks!  I've only stated the truth, and I hope it sets you free, and allows you to be yourself.  I am a married man, which means I was also the man of my wife's dreams (she also has big labia, which I lick, suck and fuck silly on a regular basis as much as possible!). =0)

And Adonis: No I don't find the pictures unattractive, It's just me that always look down on myself =/.

Would you like to have my hotmail adress?  
I would like to talk to you more =)  

I am so happy for your answers, thanks!

** No problem, feel free to share your hotmail address with us.  Feel free to send pics of yourself or your pussy if you want real opinions from real men (and other women who have large labia) too.  We're all here to help.  Take care Sad, and maybe you will change your name to "Glad" like Labi suggested! =0)

I assume that you're American. In general, I find Americans tend to have a HUGE preoccupation with having a "perfect" body, so I understand that you feel under pressure to be just like all the other plastic fantastics. I'm sure that even if you would have your lips cut smaller, sooner or later there would be another part of your body that is not "good" enough.

18 is very young. Learn to love and accept yourself the way you are. If you feel comfortable with ALL of your body, there's no reason why a young man won't think you're fabulous too. Like I've said many times, my sister and I have NEVER had a bad moment with a male just because we have big labia minora. I sincerely believe that if you feel sexy and confident about your vulva, your partner will accept you as just that. Sexy! If they don't, then you must tell them to bugger off immediately! Never let a male near you who doesn't appreciate you. That's just gross.  

I love, love, love my lips. They look great and feel great. I love how they hang out between my labia majora. Looks naughty and tantalising. I hope you get yourself a decent boyfriend soon to help you feel good about yourself!! Take it slow, because you should never waste your body and soul on somebody who isn't in love with you. If they're in love with you, they'll love everything about you!

K - I feel like you do sometimes too
I am 40 next month....I have had several partners and been with my husband now for nearly 19 yrs...no one has ever commented on my labia....somedays I feel sexy and love them, somedays I hate them.........

Amanda.....somedays i love love love my lips like you too.....love the naughty and tantalising part of it


I am just glad no man has ever told me they dont like them......the men that do say that do not know how damaging the things they say can affect woman.....thank god for my husband who loves them....................

Im not going to tell you not to get surgery because I still concider it sometimes as well. If you think it would make you more comfortable with yourself and you cant see yourself ever being comfortable with them than I say that maybe surgery would be a good idea. I hate meeting new guys especially ones I really like because its hard to take that first step.. Ive  gone as far as to ask some guys what they thought an "ugly vagina" was. And I got alot of answers that were not in my.. well OUR favor.  

On that note, Ive never had any complaints from the 8 guys Ive slept with.. Other than my first boyfriend who only used it against me after we broke up and only to hurt me.  

If you think it is meant for you than go for it.  
Guys, I wouldnt worry too much, there are plenty of ladies with big labia, one girls choice to change hers is not the end of the world. I say whatever makes you happy girl!!

hi woman hopefully no longer "sad",
ain't love strange?
so many of us guys praying for the blessings of the goddess with labia to love.
what men under 40 don't know about appreciating a a good woman is truly amazing.  
every cell in your body is waiting for you to activate total bliss awareness. you will need all of them.
the acorn knows nothing of the future tree it is destined to be.
and for the love of goddess  
never listen to those who disparage trees or goddesses.
to be clear, there is more than enough labia porn out there to keep us guys entertained if that was what we would be satisfied with.
I can only speak for myself but i am pretty sure the other guys would agree that  we participate in this site to save as many as we can from a terrible mistake, and if we are really lucky, maybe both the dreams of those with great labia and those who love them will be fulfilled.  
blissings, brer

Shawna,

You might be right babe. . .BUT she did also say she was very confused -- therefore I say she wait until she's really sure about what her next steps should be.  Make sense?

And yes, if she cut of her sexy labia, the world would end! =0)P

Just kidding. . .but you know what I mean.

That's one less sexy pussy for a man out there to lick! =09

- Eric