April 13, 2005
Love, love, love this site!! Thank you for putting it together. I have
had negative feelings about my large labia since 18, when my first
boyfriend made a painful, insensitive comment, three years into the
relationship. (I dumped him soon after that.) I had slept with a few
other guys during the times were we not together and no one said
anything, positive or negative, about my lips. I had no problem with
my large lips up until then, I just thought they were what you got
when you grew up. (And I loved to go skinny dipping in the neighbors
well-hidden pool--the feel of the water separating my lips when I swam
was awesome! But I digress...) That one comment from my boyfriend
changed everything. I figured the only comment I had ever heard was
negative, so they must be really unattractive, and are only something
to get past to get to the actual fucking. Since then, I have avoided
relationships and not been intimate with anyone (and it's been a
looong time!) I am trying to change my attitude to a more
positive one, and your site is helping me do that. I still have a hard
time believing that men actually like this, that they think it's
attractive, and not in a "freaky" sort of way. But I'm working on it.
But I must disagree with something you said in your response to "Kat's" letter. You said you believed that the latest generation of girls with large labia are less self-conscious of it. I has seen tons of letters to the contrary. If you search on 'large labia,' you will see lots of teen/collage-age sex information sites with many, many letters from freaked-out teenagers, convinced they are ugly and abnormal. So it doesn't seem as if much has changed. Another belief I have seen a lot is that only older men, i.e., 50 and above, like larger labia, because as one girl so rudely put it, "they are just so happy they can still even get near a pussy, they'll take anything." They are convinced that the younger guys (teens, twenties, thirties) only like the flat, tiny lipped pussies. I'm sure the whole Playboy issue has a lot to do with that. So I guess there is still a long way to go (for me too, obviously).
Anyway, I love your site, it is very tastefully done. Please keep adding to it, and keep it up for those of us who still need to learn to appreciate our attributes, and for those who already love them.
Good for you that you dumped your boyfriend after he insulted you for having large labia. Besides, no one should tolerate any type of insults in a relationship. It shows a lack of respect.
Let this be a message to all guys out there: do not make offensive remarks or jokes about your girl's genitals, that's just so insensitive. You wouldn't like her to do the same thing to you. If you can't handle her huge lips then so be it. Maybe you have issues and need to sort them out. But don't make her feel like she is the one who has a problem!
Sometimes I worry more about the opposite happening. I mean, given the nature of this site I suppose that plenty of dudes here are already true labia lovers or that they will be soon, after going through this site. It's great if your girl has big labia but don't make it a requirement (unless you have a genuine large labia fetish like this guy.)
At least don't make insulting comments if she isn't equipped the way you'd like it. So don't pretend you're going to give her a long licking and then say "Hey, you have almost no pussy lips!" followed by skipping the oral part of the sex. You can still please the girl orally even if she has hardly any lips or clit to nibble on.
Now back to you Genevieve. You haven't had a sexual relationship in a long time. You don't say exactly how long but I feel we're talking many years here. It's time to start playing the field again girl. Don't let life pass by without joining in the fun!
I don't know your specific age but let's say you're in your late twenties right now or in your thirties. That gives you a big edge. You could seduce any younger twenty year old and see for yourself that it's not just older men who like larger labia. But you're gonna need to show him you've got some confidence in yourself, even if that's really tough in the beginning.
Try to keep your emotions at bay and try not to read any importance in the things he does or doesn't to you. Young men tend to be a little clumsy or shy around an older woman. It's you who will need to make him feel comfortable, not the other way around. So don't tell him you haven't been with a man in a long time. Act and pretend like you know your stuff!
In the beginning your brain might be going a hundred miles an hour, wondering what he's thinking of your pussy. Don't assume he dislikes your labia if he doesn't tell you anything. Assume he likes your pussy! That's what horny guys are known for... they like pussy. If his eyes are bulging when he sees your goods it means he loves it—no need for words here!
Only by giving yourself a chance you will realize that many guys certainly find large labia attractive, and NOT in "freaky" way. So go for it dear Genevieve, and you're going to make that lonely girl inside of you very happy... plus some lucky dudes as well!
Oh yes, you also talk about my response to Kat's letter. I won't deny that some sex-information sites contain quite a bit of panicky letters from teenagers. I've read many of them. But compared to a few years back there are so many more adolescent girls surfing the net right now and way more forums where they can write down their worries. With what has been going on one would think it would be far worse. I mean, look how some high profile surgeons are constantly trying to convince women of their "abnormality" in the hope of getting them to submit their pussies to the knife or laser.
I still feel that the latest generation of girls isn't that self-conscious of their labia, but who knows, it could be that I'm basing my findings too much on my own experiences. Myself I'm not so bad but some friends of mine are true womanizers. They've had sex with plenty of girls of this new generation (18-21 year olds.) Of course, I couldn't resist asking them for some details. Many girls who had big inner labia many seemed to be confident about them and even enjoyed showing them off or teasing the guys with them.
And the Playboy issue? Browniegal27 also mentions it in her letter and it's talked about quite a bit on those sexuality sites. I predict that won't last forever though. Just check out the 2004 Playmate of the Year.