"Meat Cutains" Another story...

Shawna

December 23, 2009

So I am constantly on this website, It helps remind me that I am not alone, and it keeps my insecurities at a tolerable level. But it seems that every so often a situation arises that lowers my confidence to the extent that I feel the need to come and share it with you valued listeners.

If you look back at my previous post about the "Meat Cutains" situation (#2661) you will see how strongly I feel about such a word. Well I am a 19 year old girl whome inhabits a group of male friends. Being the only girl I do have to listen to many rude and gross subjects. Many sexest comments. None of which really bother me. But last night I found myself in a different situation. Having one of our many gaming sessions, one of the guys used the term "cunt". A word that I hate, I find it disrespectful and should not be thrown around. In a discussion about words that I, as a girl, dont like. A lot of words were thrown around and than it came. The word that hit me like a train. "Meat curtains" he said with a big shit grin on his face. That word gives me shivers down my spine. Instantly, I was offended. It was appearant. And I made it clear that I hated that word with a passion. I hated it the most. But I could not say more I was at a total loss for words. Dallon than leaned over to my boyfriend, and said "Its like what we talked about the other day". He than looked at me, pinched his lips and stuck out his tongue (his example of what it would look like). My boyfriends responce "haha yeah ew."

In earlier posts I mentioned being afraid to be fully exposed infront of men, I have not yet showered with my boyfriend or been completely naked infront of him. He has only been down on me twice due to my insecurities. I text him, fighting back tears, and we left right away. On the drive home he asked me why I was mad. Why I was upset. Why it bothered me so much. He did not understand. And as we sat in silence, and I held back my tears I felt so discusted with myself. Not nessisarily because of what I have.. But because I ran from it, instead of standing up for girls like me. I sit here now and with that I had said something different. I wish I had mentioned that the chances of the next girl he's with having the same situation is very likely. And that he of all people has no reason to be picky (obviously it is no surprise he has not gotten laid in over a year). My boyfriend kept saying "I dont know why you're so upset, you dont have that". I wonder if he is denial because I do have the same situation that they were making fun of and he knows that. I was also so angry with him for the need to conform to his friends rudeness infront of me. Especially because he knows how it hurts me so much. I do understand that most guys will agree with their guy friends about such a thing but I also dont see why he could not have just said "its not that big a deal" because it isnt. That hurt me so much, there is no way I plan to shower with him now. I ended up spending the night with him but I slept fully clothed and with my back to him. I couldnt face him I was too ashamed and too angry.

I wanted to share this with you. My boyfriend told me today that it really doesnt bug him and it's not that big of a deal, but if that is true I see no reason why he could not have just said that to them. Because its not like they will never come across a girl like me. I found it quite ironic how that bashing had to go down when I, the only girl, one of the girls they were mocking, was sitting there. Having to endure their rude comments and gestures and pretend. I find that in my life its always about pretending.

Im tired of pretending. Im tired of being ashamed. I think that if there is ever a time that I can afford surgery, Im going to take it.

Replies

Moan

December 25, 2009

Its just men honey,seriously,they all give it the "big'n" infront of their mates. I once seen a guy that rapped..one his songs was called "designer vagina (you better get one)"!..u dnt kno how confused i was about whether i wantd 2sleep with him or nt bt after i made up my mind and did..nt a peep,infact he askd me 2travel with him all wk and i have never been so confident with someone,we showered together and everything.it was all a front,he didnt mind n i do have biig lips.
I think that most men see pussy as pussy n are happy to get some whatever shape or size.its just a shame that some people have to be immature about it (iv been put in the same situation a few times..it can be frustrating!) I bet that if the guy that came across a large labia on a decent enough girl,he wouldnt say no! Plz dnt get yourself down.be confident!thats what makes you sexy.
P.s. Im sure if ur bf has had you in his mouth that hes aware of your size,you have nothing to worry about!
Hope this helps.
Moan xx

The Marquis

December 26, 2009

Shawna, Moan has it right with her comments here. You are talking about a group of immature boys, probably out drinking, and joking around. Because of your situation, you take their comments personally, while they, on the other hand, mean nothing personal, and only intend immature, impersonal humor. As Moan says, your b/f obviously likes your pussy just the way it is. If you are afraid that he doesn't just keep it away from him for a bit and see how he reacts. I'm willing to bet he will be salivating for it. Turn on the lights, get naked, shower with him, encourage him to go down on you. You have a beautiful body, so start enjoying it. Be proud of it. You are wasting precious time with your concerns. After all, you could be enjoying your body and it's abilities, instead of being concerned about it's appearance, and contemplating some future disfiguring surgery. Be happy with your body the way it is, be proud of it, love it, and be confident. There is simply nothing more sexual and exciting than that. If I'm wrong, and your b/f does actually have some distate for your appearance, which I just can't imagine, then you are obviously with the wrong b/f.

Bananaman

December 26, 2009

I agree with almost all of what Moan said, except not all men are like that, just the immature or ignorant ones.
My best advice is stay away from the guys that hang out with a lot of buddies. The quiet ones are a lot less exciting, but usually more mature, and treat you better.
I bet if those guys ever had a girlfriend with luscious lips, they wouldn't talk about it like that, they would be singing praises.
Take heart my dear, as these knuckleheads get older they will get to appreciate the very thing they are making fun of.

Eric

December 28, 2009

Hey Shawna,

It's Eric!

I have to say reading your letter did disappoint me a bit, and let a bit of a grimace on my face.. ..

First let's get something straight: What you have is something that is either hit or miss. . .a man will like it or he won't, and if he doesn't it really is his loss. Your boyfriend apparently likes what you have, but is too afraid to stand up to his own friends about it, or gets too caught up in what his friends joke about to show you any consideration about what you have.

In either case, I think you need to stop hanging out with your boyfriend's friends, and make some girlfriends that you can hang out with and do things with. I have male friends, and the conversations between us almost always leads to pussy at some point (or lack thereof for some of my friends!). They talk about "meat curtains" and stuff like that, but I and one other guy don't just casually laugh along with them when they start that nonsense -- we usually point out how sexy they are, and why we love them...of course they then start giggling about us, making sounds about licking pussy, making pussy licking motions, and so forth -- but frankly I don't give a shit. And I always say (as most of them know I have had more pussy in my life than most of them have had), "Well this is exactly why I have had FAR more pussy than you guys..simply because I find all pussy beautiful and do not discriminate. I can only imagine how many a beautiful woman and a beautiful pussy you guys missed out because of your retarded attitudes!" That usually gets them quiet, and then they start asking questions (almost like little boys) about how large-lipped girls feel, whether or not it's easier to make them cum, etc.

I know their questions are usually because they have some insecurity about fulfilling things with a large-lipped girl -- they wonder whether or not they're up to the challenge, whereas a guy like me has total confidence because I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt soaked in lady squirt to match! =0)

You'll be okay Shawna. . .just start hanging out with a different group of friends with respectful males, or with females, since even respectful males can end up talking about pussy in the end, and in ways that will feel disrespectful to you even if not to them (thus your boyfriend's comments: ". . .why are you so upset? You don't have THAT.")

Ann

December 28, 2009

I agree with the other people that you shouldn't worry if your bf doesn't like your pussy, and I also think that guys often talk without really meaning what they say when they are in a group. So don't worry about that. Most of the other guys in that group probably also have girlsfriends with big labia og likes it/don't care about it when they experience it. But I must say that your bf's behavior is unacceptable and you should not accept that. Find a way to show him that you are not going to accept it because he obviously doesn't understand how much it hurts you. Your bf is supposed to support you and instead of saying "haha yeah ew", he should say "what the fuck are you talking about?! Don't you like pussy or what? That's so wierd!" or something like that when his friends are making those jokes. I would not accept that kind of behavior from my bf, that's for sure.

Shawna

December 30, 2009

My boyfriends friends are also my friends. They are the people I love and I dont get along with girls because they are catty and mean for the most part. Alot of them are immature I will admit, but oddly enough the other night, my boyfriend, our friend JD and I were having a three way conversation about sex, girls, guys, and relationships. JD is the only other guy in our group with a girlfriend at the moment, and it is obvious why. Trying to give him a better understanding of girls and their insecurities when totally out of the blue he announced that "There is no such thing as an ugly vagina! They are all unique, you will never come across one that is exactly the same as the last, but they are all still just vagina's, and it pisses me off when people make a big deal about them because it really doesnt matter what it looks like! Still feels good!!" Instantly my boyfriend was agreeing and making it clear to me that IT REALLY DIDNT MATTER. I thought that was very nice to hear from another guy. Makes me wonder if his gf has the same situation as me, but I know she would never admit if she did.

After the "meat curtains" situation happened I told her about it. She asked what they were or what it meant and i told her, she seemed clueless to the idea. Of course I was too embarresed to explain that I was one of those girls, but I told her that I had talked to girls with those sort of situations. It was a conversation that did not last long at all.

I really dont mind sex talk, even with the guys. Im naturally a very open person so I will give tips and hints if they need. Or I can be one of the guys and just get into it with them (we discuss some pretty raunchy things). It was just that one topic that got to me because It was the first time I had ever heard someone other than my ex reffer to it that way.

tempest_driver

January 1, 2010

Shawna,

I'm going to go out on a limb here because you told us in the past that your man is a good man, and I really think if that's true he'll adjust his ways.

I think you should show him what you've got, all of it, in broad daylight. Honestly how he's not insisted on seeing your pussy by now is a complete mystery to me, I NEED to see and eat the pussy first. Once he sees what you've got you can let him know how sensitive you are about it and how much you hurt him.

If he's the man you say he is, he'll be more considerate in the future. And you can reward him for not disappointing you. If he turns out to be a jackass after all, show his ass the door, and go hunt down the friend that you already know desires a well endowed woman.

just a thought, I hope it helps.

XOXO t_d

Shawna

January 3, 2010

Tempest,

My boyfriend is amazing for his age. He treats me better than I have ever been treated and he handles my insecurities and baggage with so much care. He insists alot that I trust him and shower with him and to not feel self concious but those are just my own issues I have to get past. I am staying at his house tomorow night and I am concidering being brave and asking him to shower with me finally. CONCIDERING. Its easy to say right now but when it comes down to it I dont know if I will be able to yet. Lately he has been alot more loving sexually and he has been so generous in bed, his choice and desire. In the middle of one of our intimate moments he stopped what he was doing, looked at me and told me to never let anyone tell me I am not sexy, and than he kissed me so passionatly. It was the best anyone had ever made me feel.

tempest_driver

January 4, 2010

Shawna,

I really believe you when you tell us how good your man is. Believe me, I'm not prepared to go down that road again. If he is in fact the man you say he is, you really have nothing to worry about. I guarantee you that he'll take into account how much what he did has done to your self, confidence, and how much he has hurt you. And he will change the way he acts.

IF he's the man you claim he is.

One thing's for sure. this will certainly be the acid test won't it?

XOXO t_d

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