I can see where you're coming from but honestly, I think every male on here would kill to have the opportunity to get next to you! Your boyfriend, well, it actually sounds like he's not really up on what feels good for a woman. Is it hard to communicate with him? If not, I'd suggest talking to him about your concerns and what you'd like from him. If things are really bad, maybe talk to a sexual therapist too. But seriously, you are perfectly normal and have no need to be ashamed of your sexual beauty.