Advise

Hello Ann,

I'm very glad to hear that you're having these discussions with other women regarding labia size.  As this site demonstrates, so many women have self image problems regarding their labia, which really inhibits them when it comes to openness in sexual situations.  They are afraid of letting their lovers or even their Doctors see them because they think there is something wrong, or that somehow they are a freak.  I would think that hearing the truth of the matter from another woman, one who is very open and accepting of her sexuality such as yourself, would be very helpful to many women.  Coming from another woman, the comments might be more easily accepted.  I think that it's wonderful of you to try to help women in this manner, by sharing your openness and your deep sexuality.

I do think that using the analogy about the size of tits is a good approach, but perhaps you could say that many men, rather than saying most men, prefer the larger ones.  In other words, in making the case for larger labia, you might not want to denigrate the women who have smaller ones.  As you mention, all cunts are beautiful and desirable, just like tits.  I feel, as you do, that it isn't a matter of just accepting what you have.  It's a matter of coming to love what you have, ppreciating the gifts of your body, and loving what it can do for you, along with all the joy and pleasure it can bring to you.  Anyone who somehow feels sorry for you, simply doesn't understand how sexual you are, how deeply you feel that sexuality, and what good use you make of it all.  It's great to hear from you again.  I hope all is well with you.

Best Wishes,

The Marquis

I had stopped making any contribution to the site as it had became a bit monotonous, the say message from the women/girls and the same people seemingly sitting in front of their computers daily to wait for the next letter and give the same answer. This is somewhat interesting.

If I were you I would start by asking - "Are you concerned about what you are or have because of some one else or other people's comments or opinions ?". Depending on the response I would then continue and say something as follows:

"I am not interested in discussing whether big or small labia are good. I just want to ask you about the whole principle behind what you think is a problem. Lets assume that you have small labia and you are not happy about it (for whatever reason) and suppose you are able by whatever means to increase the size of your labia, how sure are you that the next person you meet or come across (male or female) will not have or make any negative comments. So will you go and cut them.  On the other hand, suppose you had large labia and again you are in the same situation, and suppose you take steps to reduce your labia, how sure are you that the next person you meet will not have and make any negative comments. So what will you do ??, cut or stretch on and off in response to people's opinions or comments".

This is my own advice but I do not know if anyone is willing to go into such deep discussions. It looks like people are more concerned with very shallow and trial discussions.

I think you will recognize me

EMM

It's a tricky one. You can say all pussies are fine but you love large labia because you're lucky to have more to play with and more sensation.
It's just great that you talk about it and let others know that it is nothing to be ashamed of but actually be proud of.
Most women are shy to talk about it leaving others ignorant about it and implying it's something embarrassing to talk about.

I don't know if pointing out that most men love yours would be any better than someone saying that mo one would want yours because your labia are large. You may however tell them that you've never had a man you didn't love love your labia because they were big.  

while most men do prefer the bigger ones. A real man loves the little ones too, and that is what we're really trying to do here.

XOXO t_d

I don't agree with using arguments where You might state that one way is better than another. Because We both know it's not.  
I've been having these discussions with Women also. I usually start by talking about labiaplasty as a platform to see how women view themselves and other women's bodies. You could also talk about how in some cultures, Women stretched their Labia, for more sexual gratification.  I find most women who have misinformation or hangups about this kind of thing are Young women, in their teens or early twenties.
I think by cultivating a forum that embraces our bodies (all types) , We teach others to love themselves and not be afraid of each other.
You could always show them some of the photos from these sites and MetArt. - REally beautiful women with larger labia. No one will feel bad for You if you don't feel bad for Yourself!

Keep on Keepin on with these talks! They are needed! Especially between Women!

Ann,

You make some good points. It's true that we don't hear very often people saying to gorgeous top models: "you just have to accept the fact that you are beautiful and sexy".
It also applies to other areas as well: "you just have to accept that you are totally rich; You have all the money in the world, just accept it".
Just accept that your father gave you a Lamborghini for your birthday, I know it's tough, but try to be strong and be open to driving it around town!

Nobody says that it's awful to be brilliant and beautiful.

But the labia question doesn't apply to this concept, because perceptions are more vague. If society perceives something negative, people will often comform to the idea, even if they don't believe it themselves. Therefore, logically speaking, you shouldn't really have to worry about saying "just accept that your labia are large (small) (whatever size), because guys like all of it, etc etc". The person that is doing the worrying has developed a perception. What you need to do, is to make the person understand that it's merely a perception and not necessarily a reality reflected in the majority.

Back to the story of the rich person with a Lamborghini, many wealthy people will tell you that having money is a curse, and beautiful women will tell you being beautiful is a curse, and genius guys will tell you being smart and talented is a curse - but mainstream society may think otherwise.

In conclusion, when you look at the big picture, because of the varying peceptions and individual realities, it makes total sense NOT to rely on society to define your inner value. In other words, small breasts and small lips are totally OK, and so are all combinations.  

Now, on to my opinion about the female pussy (my favorite subject) It's true that it seems from the media that guyz/men prefer women with big breasts over small. I obviously cannot speak for all men. I can only speak for myself. When it comes to pussies, I would say that most all are wonderful. It doesn't matter if the lips are small or large. I love them each way. I realize this is a large labia site, and I do adore those. But I would never insinuate that a girl with small labia be considered less sexy. Regarding breasts, my girlfriend now is petit, she has small breasts and her labia are small, but I love her breasts and pussy so much. I have been with women who had larger breasts, but honestly, I accept the human body for its uniqueness and there's so much more to the package then just the body, right?

-Gigu

The commentor named "I Love My Pussy" has it exactly right here.  Well said.  Ann I do hope you will continue to have these discussions with your friends and acquaintences.  So many women, particularly younger women, are so misinformed, have such a lack of understanding, and are so afraid of themselves, or what others might think of them.  You are performing a real service for your friends.  Hopefully, they will do the same for others.

Best wishes,

The Marquis

Thanks for the good advice everybody
I just want to clear one thing out, which is that I absolutely don't think that small labia are not sexy (because I think that all pussy is sexy) or that men doesn't love that too. I really think there is only a small difference for most people but if they have to chose (which is kind of absurd and abstract) they would choose the large labia, just like with breasts. My own breasts are not the biggest but I am very happy about them because I am always told how beautyfull they are and I don't care if guys normally would prefer them a little bit bigger because I know that they still find them very sexy and perfect just the way they are, just like almost every men find all pussy very sexy no matter if their preference is sligtly different.  
But I hear your advice, and will not say it in a discussion with girls with small labia because I really don't want to upset anybody because there is no reason for anybody to be upset about the appearence of their labia! This is what I always felt, but I just wanted to hear your oppinion because I was doubting what would be ethical. My only wish with all this is to make it clear that large labia are not disliked and not something to feel sorry for. But now I have some more ideas about what to say in such a discussion.
To I love my pussy!: so great to hear that you also talk about it openly, it is a very good way help deconstruct misunderstandings and misconceptions! And great that you also have the confidence:-)

As for me as a man, labia size makes a huge diffierence to me. The first time I ever saw & handled labia was when I was 11 years old. Up until that time I sort of wondered what women had down there. AT 11 years old I saw the mother of a boyfriend when I was alone inside their house. So, I thought to myself that's what they have down there. After that experience I spent 15 years looking for normal sized labia, didn't find it till I met my wife (saw quite a few slits though, thought those gals were having a problem not being normal), I married her because her labia looked like the first I ever saw on my boyfriend's mother, large, ample, however you want to describe it.  

To me, large is normal, otherwise I don't get nearly as excited, and often is a one night's stand.

Ann,

You know I love ya to pieces, and you and I have spoken for hours about these kinds of things. . .

My opinion??

You're tempted to say it. . .well because to a certain segment of the population on Earth (there are almost 7 billion of us little humans), it would be true.

Conversely however, the same would be true that there are those who enjoy smaller labia. . .

Still you have the "in-between"-ers like me. . .guys (and gals) who just love pussy no matter what it looks like.

I think statistics can often be manipulated to mean anything, so they are hard to rely on as ready and steady facts.

On the same side though, I think what you are doing is VERY GOOD!!

Talking about it is the same as "educating" about it. . .and you should get some kind of humanitarian award for doing what you're doing, seriously.

Any of you ladies who are brave enough to discuss it should be rewarded in my opinion for your totally selfless acts especially since they have the potential to make you feel insecure about yourselves.

Human beings are the result of millions of years of evolution (and the theologists in our group may differ with that opinion despite the evidence supporting what I'm suggesting), and I believe evolution is perfect and imperfect all at the same time.

It's perfect in the sense that we're made the way we're made because, well, we work well the way we're created.  This isn't to say there isn't room for improvement, but mother nature will take care of that.

However, as perfect as evolution is. . .it is also imperfect, which is why we have things like cancer, and other human deformities, and so forth.

All in all, I remain a believer in the human condition, and encourage you all to do the same, and just keep doing what you've been doing, because in the end human beings will work things out amongst each other (apologies if that sounds Utopian-ish), just as we've done in the past.

Soon, people will talk about pussy, and the difference between large labia and small labia the way they talk about some of the other inefficiencies of the past human experience.

You can witness this if you ask someone how they'd get from New York to California and before they answer, suggest to them they should take a horse-drawn carriage.  They'd probably laugh at you, and dismiss the idea as ludicrous.

That will eventually happen within the ecological and social systems that humans have adopted especially in regards to our sexuality.

There was a time when eating pussy for example was believed to be an abomination (gasp can you imagine?!?!) -- nowadays it's more common I think then it was in the past (even though there are still some guys out there that won't do it, and boy do they have no idea what they're missing).

There will come a time when people talk about the concept of large and small labia the same way, and with the same equality and social standards we're all starting to expect.

People will eventually say things like: "Wow, you don't eat pussy??  What's wrong with you??"  The same way people would respond nowadays if you said: "I would prefer to walk to California, rather than take a flight."  It would just be viewed as socially "unacceptable" or as stigma that causes you limitations.

They'll say: "Wow, would you believe in the early 21st century women were made to feel as if their labia were something that had to be changed or modified to match social beliefs at that time?  Those people were so weird. . ."

The same way we talk about the folks from the early 20th century.

"Wow, would you believe women couldn't have the same jobs men had back then??  Those people were so weird. . ."

OR

"Wow, would you believe they would 'bleed' you to get rid of a disease??  Those people were so weird. . ."

OR

"Wow, would you believe women used to wear hip devices to make their hips appear larger underneath their dresses because the men believed it to be more attractive when the women had wide hips (which I might add is something that would look weird today. . .since women with naturally wide hips are sexy enough without having to wear something to make their hips appear wider artificially). . .those people were so weird. . ."

Are you all starting to follow me with this??

Hope I make sense. . .and those are my 3 cents for the day! =0)

- Eric

Ann,

You are doing exactly the right thing, helping other women to realize that larger labia are not the problem that so many young women think they are.  In fact, they are a gift, a blessing, very sexual.  As you've said, any erotic part of the body which is larger is generally more desirable, such as the larger breasts on a woman that you mention, or a man with a larger cock.  It's just that in casual conversation, you don't really know the situation of the women you are talking to, unless they've already told you.  Therefore, it's important to keep from giving them the wrong impression regarding the size of their labia.  The simple fact is that men love pussy.  Period.  The only thing better than pussy is more pussy, larger pussy.  I know that you wouldn't want to inadvertantly embarrass some woman who happened to be in your group discussion, who happened to have small labia.  It's all a matter of how you approach the subject, how you frame the discussion, as so many commentors here have stated.  None of this is criticism of you, or of your discussions with other women.  You are doing exactly the right thing.  Helping them to become comfortable talking about their pussys, discussing their labia, becoming comfortable with their appearance, and vastly improving the self image of those who have had difficulty with it.  I salute you.  I congratulate you.  Well done.

Best Wishes,

The Marquis

Ive been doing the same thing. To boys and girls. I got into a discussion with my sister about it and found she has the same thing! She was going to get labiaplasty when she got her tubes tied but she decided to wait on it and now doesn't plan on getting it! In that same discussion I found out that her childhood friend, who was like a sister to me also had the same thing. She unfortunately got surgery but she is alot more comfortable with herself and likes it better. She still enjoys sex but I think that has a lot to do with being comfortable in her own skin. It was so relieving to talk to another girl about it and my sister to boot! She mentioned our mom having the same so maybe its hereditary? Whatever it is, It brought me and my sister much closer. She is the only girl I have told about mine and I think she was relieved to find out that we actually have something in common. :)

Shawna,

It is those very discussions, which are so rare among women, and yet so valuable, as you have discovered.  The more that all of you talk to each other, the more all of you will come to understand that no one among you is a freak, no one among you should be embarrassed about your most private, most sexual body part.  Talk to each other ladies, sister to sister, friend to friend, even with people you've only recently met over drinks.  Be open, be understanding, be helpful to others.  There are so many of you who somehow think you have a problem, who think you should submit your most intimate bits to some greedy surgeon.  It's truly tragic that so much fear, so much unhappiness exists, when in fact, you are all so very beautiful and sexy.

Shawna, it's so cool to hear that you also take the discussions and have the confidence for it. And a good advantedge of being open your self is that other people will also be open and you find out that you are not alone. I don't have a single doubt that large labia is hereditary. All my three sisters and my mom has large labia just like me and I have heard many other women saing their family is like them. Seldomly two sisters are different but that must be because one of them has it from the mothers side and the other has it from the fathers side. But anyways it is just like everything else, like hair color, height, nose and so on -hereditary.  
Marquis thank you for your kind words and I really agree with your oppinions, and I don't want to make other women self concious about their small labia and the reason I started this whole discussion is that I kind of felt that to be able to really make these girls understand how good and beautifull large labia is I needed to say something more extreme (like most men prefer large labia) just because all they have ever heard and believed in is the opposite extreme so I felt like it was not enough to say that they are all beautifull (even though that is my own oppinion) but I do feel that it is more important to celebrate all pussy and avoid anybody getting hurt which so many of you suggested.  
Eric I love your positive attitude towards people which is also one that I share. I do believe that humans have so much potential and even though we have many examples of the opposite I also think that we are progressing in many ways and I definately feel that sexuality is becoming more free. So I think that you are right that by time all of this negative feelings about large labia will disappear and I can feel the progress my self. Sometimes I just wish I could make it go faster:-)

I think that the most important thing to take note of in tis thread is that we have a couple of ladies who are trying to discuss labia size with their peers in a manner that is non-offensive, and non-hurtful to others. All to ofter we've seen here that some lady, or girl is stricken with a negative image of the perfect, breathtakingly beautiful pussy that they've been endowed with due to some past careless of hurtful remark made by another girl, or an old boyfriend.  

Ladies, I applaud your courage in taking up this discussion. Hopefully the word will get out and attitudes will finally start to change about all of your labia, and eventually all well endowed ladies and girls everywhere can be proud of what they have.

XOXO t_d