SO self confident ... please HELP

Charlotte

September 28, 2009

Okay, so ive never let a boy see me "down there" because im ashamed. and im about to let my bf finger me (well we are talking about it) weve been going out for over a year now, and he tells me he loves every part of me. The only thing is, him and his friends always joke about "big flaps look like roast beef etc." not knowing that i have them too...like...when stretched probably an inch maybe 2? hanging outside. I started looking at ur site about 2 weeks ago, and hav been every day, and my confidence has just SKY ROCKETED!!!, but then i was talking with a friend the other day, and we talk very intimately, and he told me he prefers small or average, most guys do, and those who dont hav an unusual fetish, probably only 1/10 likes big...have u got any stats? or more info? im dying inside, im so worried about my boyfriends opinion. and lets say 2 inches exposed when stretched, is this big/average, big, BIG, or HUGEE????? Char xx

Replies

shaver77

September 29, 2009

Charlotte,
Enjoy what you have we all have different preferences and if you were to ask 20 people you would have 20 different answers. I adore long labias....2 inches is lovely/beautiful, but for me I prefer them totally hairless, mound back and front totally bald. As stated earlier, thats my opinion one again of many.

      From your comments this is the result if you stretch them . 2inches stretched is normal from my experience ...a 50+male. If you stretch and keep stretching, the lips will stay long for a little while but then shrink back. Obviously you like the lenght ....as you appear to enjoy stretching them. Keep it up and unjoy the pleasure it brings.  

Again longer the better, in my opinion. Enjoy what you have and enjoy life. If it doesnt work out with the "boy" , dont worry about it move on.

The Marquis

September 29, 2009

Charlotte,

Given your issues, I am very glad that you have found this site.  You say you visit it daily.  That's a very good thing for you.  Be sure that you go back through all the letters, and read not only the women's letters but the responses from the men, all the way through.  You will see a progression with the women, from feeling the same kind of shame that you mention, and hesitation to let men see them or play with them, to being sexually confident women who love their pussies and now live full, satisfying sex lives.  Their newfound confidence in their bodies should give you confidence and appreciation for the beautiful lips you have been blessed with.  Don't let stupid immature jokes and comments fool you into thinking you have a problem, you don't.  As far as your boyfriend is concerned, considering your stated lack of experience, he must be young and immature and inexperienced too.  If you're not ready to get that involved in sex, don't.  If he isn't mature enough to appreciate the beauty of your body, don't let him near it.  On the other hand, I must tell you that most boys haven't ever seen a real live pussy at the time they make such stupid immature remarks.  Once face with one, they are captivated and can't get enough of it.  All you have to do is keep reading the letters here to know what the truth is.  From there, it's a matter of picking the right guy at the right time.  Good luck to you.  Don't rush.

Ann

September 29, 2009

Hello Charlotte

First of all I wanna answer your questions as to how many guys like big labia. That friend of yours has no idea what he is talking about! I think he is basing his statement on his own wiew and maybe a few friends of his. Try to read all the letters on this site and you will understand that the majority of all guys love big labia (most of these guys also love small labia because they like all pussy). Don't worry, even young guys like it.  
I think that my labia are pretty much the same size as yours (they protrude 0,6 inch when not stretch and 1,4 when stretch) and I have good experience with the guys (except one asshole) and I have had a lot of sexual partners. I'm 27 now and started having sex when I was 13. The first time a guy complemented my pussy I was only 15 and so was he.  
I don't know wether your b/f is serious with his joking or not. If he is I would dump him because there are so many other guys who would just love the way you look. You could just let him finger you and see his reactions. There is a possibility that he is only joking about it because his friends are, maybe only one in the group dislikes it in reality. I remember once I was hanging out with my sister, her b/f and some of his friends. The guys started joking about big labia and my sisters b/f just laughed with them even though my sister also have big labia, and I know for a fact that he was absolutely crazy about her and everything about her, since I often talked privately with him. So he was clearly just laughing because his friends was.
Another possibility is that he changes his mind when he sees you naked. It sounds like he is crazy about you and many guys just have to experience big labia one time before they fall in love with it. If he likes yours, request that he stops joking about it with his friends, if he doesn't like your labia, then dump him. If you don't want to be naked in front of him before you know wether or not he would like your labia you could tell him that you have big labia and that you have to know what he thinks about it before diciding if you will get naked with him.  
By the way I have seen labia that are bigger than mine and labia that are smaller than mine on this web site and other web sites about big labia and I think the same would apply to you. But I would suggest you to spend a lot of time from now on to read everything on this web site and trust it when people discribe how big a turn on big labia are, and repeat all of those nice words in your own head when you look at or touch your pussy so you can stop worry about if they are to big and start being proud to have something really desired instead. Like you say after being on this web site for two weeks your self esteem has already improwed a lot, but believe me it can improwe much more.

Best wishes, Ann

tempest_driver

September 29, 2009

Charlotte,

you'll have to excuse me for making assumptions, but I'm going to guess by the way you write makes me guess that you are still a bit young, probably mid-to-late teens. Which leads me to guess that the people you've been speaking to about this are about the same age. Now if there's one thing I've learned about teenage boys, having been one, and being the parent of one. They know exactly DICK about sex beyond the basic mechanics, therefore, they are about the last ones you'll want telling or teaching you about sex. there are probably no actual statistics about the preferences on pussy lip size, but I'll tell you from talking to many many people, bigger pussy lips are sexier to more men. A pussy that has little or no lip showing is what I call a "little girl pussy". once a woman reaches puberty, the lips usually enlarge a bit, and become even more enlarged and darkens when she becomes aroused. most of the men I've spoken to who prefer the neat, tidy, little girl pussy, are gay, or are a little creepy (I wouldn't leave them alone with my little girl). or are young boys.

how long are your labia when you don't stretch them? To know how long they are when stretched doesn't really tell us anything about the appearance of your pussy. they may actually be smaller than you realize. but like I said, you seem like you may be a bit young, there's still hope.

The comments your boyfriend has made seem real immature and thoughtless. you may want to reconsider allowing him access to your treasures. I'd suggest mentioning that most WOMEN have at least some of the "roast beef" appearance, and that most MEN think it's sexy. You don't have to mention that you feel that your labia are large, and I really think you should get into his head a little to find out how he really feels, don't hope for a good reaction from him. If he's still deluded into thinking that little girl pussy is sexy, I guarantee you won't like his reaction. And if he's some high school kid, like a suspect  he is. you can count on his friends knowing everything the two of you do.  

If I'm correct about your age, don't rush into this. and if you don't want to wait for Mr, right to come along. at least wait until you're REALLY ready, then find someone who's going to treat you right.

Velvet

September 30, 2009

Charlotte,

Please, do not worry so much!
Boys talk, they just do it's an immature thing to talk in that way about labia. They just do that because they have little to no experience with girls.  
They feel confident making fun of things they don't really know a thing about. Maybe that's partly because they too often are inconfident with their penis. They come in all shapes and sizes just as pussy's come in all kind of shapes and sizes.  

All what needs to be said is already written by the other.

But from one girl to another, please don't rush into things with this guy. My exprience is that most men really, really like large labia.  I too was not comfortable (and never had one bad comment, still was ashamed) with my labia, I regret that so much!

Amanda

September 30, 2009

Hi Charlotte,

That's absolute crap what your friend says about only 1 out of 10 guys liking big inner lips. I have never had any complaints. Not one. Just the exact opposite! My sister also has long lips and has also NEVER had a man react negatively. Respect your beautiful, perfect body and be sure to never let anybody near it who doesn't respect your beauty!!!!!

Ann

September 30, 2009

Hi Charlotte

When I said that you could try to let him finger you and see his reactions, I meant only if you are ready. I must say that I really agree with the others that he might not be a guy you want to be naked with at all when he says stuff like that. You deserve a boyfriend who are respectfull to women and who appreciates your looks. But if you really like him you could try to find out what he would think of your labia before dumping him.

Take care, Ann

Eric

September 30, 2009

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte.  .  .

What can I say??

Everybody else has already explained what I would've told you.

I'll just add that boys talk about sex and what "guys" like because they have no fucking idea what "guys" like.

Boys only know what "boys" like.

As a man I can tell you (as the other men on this site will tell you), pussy is pussy -- it doesn't matter what it looks like.

The only things that matter where pussy is concerned to "most men" are (and don't just take my opinion for it. . .do some research, but I'm sure you'll find my opinion tends to eminate from most of the male population):

1) How often we can have sex with it. . .

2) How good it tastes (some men don't do the cunnilingus thing. . .perhaps they're lost or something, because I fucking enjoy it to pieces!)

3) What we can stick into it (fingers, dick, dildos, other phallic type objects, etc)

4) The woman it's attached to (not in all cases though)

5) How much of it we can get

6) How many different types of it we can get

Other than that, I'd say you're friend is just a "boy" who has no fucking clue about what he's saying. . .he's really just "guesstimating" (which is just another way of saying he hasn't a fucking clue about what he's talking about).

One thing I cannot stand if bad information, and misinformation.

President Bush acted on misinformation and look at the shitstorm that caused, and the plate of dogshit he left behind for President Obama to fix.

So my opinion. . .?

That "friend" of yours?

He supposedly knows pussy right??

Well, whip yours out to him in private and ask him if he can taste your pussy to let you know if it's "up to the standard" or not.

I know it sounds crazy, but you will gain major insight from that scenario because one of 2 things will happen:

1) He will lick your pussy, and probably not know what to do with himself afterwards, and may even come in his pants, and fall in love with you (that's what boys do when they get a taste of pussy).

OR. . .

2) He'll freak the fuck out at the fact that you showed him your pussy, which ultimately means he's gay, and you will NEVER have to worry about him trying to hit on you in the future.  In that case, you can pretty much "cancel" his opinion on what men like, and start referring to him as one of your "girlfriends".

Just my 2 cents. . .

K

September 30, 2009

Hello..
I agree with Tempest that from the sound of your letter, it sounds as if you may be somewhat young. My advice to you ...... is wait. Wait until you're 100% confident in yourself before you you even allow him near you sexually. I know that doesnt sound practical for someone who is probably at the height of sexual curiousity but.... I really think its in your best interest. The problem with having sex with guys or allowing them access to your body before you're even confident with it, is that you care way too much about what they're thinking during and after, and the things they say can really hurt. Even if maybe they dont mind your pussy, you can turn things they say, or looks they make or anything into a negative thing, and put words in their mouth, because youre paranoid. I know what its like to constantly be wondering what my boyfriend is thinking. And no matter how much he compliments me or tells me he loves my body, I dont believe it. My issue is not my boyfriend, its my confidence. And i know that.. but.. .its just not that easy to change, as I'm sure you know. So, as i said before, if i had to give you any advice, whether you're young or not... work on builiding confidence and not caring what others think before doing anything with him. I know im being a major hypocrite here but.... thats the best advice i got for ya.....

Eric

October 1, 2009

My girl K,

Look at you. . .you've come along way babe!

I got a surprise for you too in regards to your last response on your "squirt" thread.

Look for a post from me sometime tomorrow or the day after in October's letters.

- Eric

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