why do people equate large lips with promiscuity?

full lipped virgin

September 18, 2009

This has me very bugged. I'm a 21 year old virgin, saving myself for marriage. (I'm engaged, btw so the end is near) I'm so excited to finally have sex with my wonderful fiancé. However, I have large, full, smooth, protruding labia minora, like the women pictured on this site. I never really had any worries about it until I heard my fiancé make very insulting comments about big labia.  He seems to think big labia means a woman has a loose pussy, or has had a lot of sex.  This confuses me, because I'm a virgin with large labia and he's had sex with several other women before our relationship.  I don't know what his ex's vulvas were like..lol.  So I did some research online, and I found lots of (very hurtful) comments from guys using disparaging words to describe vulvas like mine.  Like "nasty meat curtains"  "turkey neck pussy" "messy ham sandwich" ect.  I know it sounds dumb, but it really hurt my feelings. :/ As someone who is excited, but still a little nervous for first time sex...I want to feel confident that my fiancé won't think I have a whorish looking pussy on my wedding night.

Oh and he has seen it before.  When he commented on a "nasty, loose pussy with hanging lips"  I said..."but my lips look like that".  And he said "well yours aren't that bad, they only hang some."  :(  How do I change his attitude and convince him that large, long lips are sexy and have nothing to do with promiscuity.  (They don't, do they?)

Replies

Tempest_driver

September 18, 2009

Has your fiancé seen this site? I would probably be an eye opening experience for him.

You might also want to take into consideration that if he's this hurtful to you now, this might be something that raises some flags for you. If you love him enough to accept his attitudes about big beautiful pussy lips for the rest of your life, then marry him and I hope you have a wonderful life. But since you've written your letter, I doubt that is the case and a little bit of attitude adjustment on his part may be in order.

Point out to him that, as a virgin your pussy  looks like that and that you happen to know that most men find it sexy. This actually makes HIM and his little boy attitudes the freak, not you and all your big-lipped beautiful self.

By writing to this site you have technically,  put yourself in contact with several men who would gladly take his place and would worship your pussy properly. This might be something else you can point out to him.

lots of luck, I hope that everything works itself out.

"Yours aren't that bad", I'm sorry but comments like that just piss me off. I'm sorry but I hope I'm wrong about him and he's NOT a complete douche.

curious

September 19, 2009

hey full lipped virgin,

honestly, i think if your fiance thinks like that of labia, that is very wrong. Men all have different preferences of labia, but to voice it in a way that is degrading and hurtful to women is really not on.

im in the same situation of you, I've only had 2 sex partners, but i for a fact know that my labia has been large even before I've had any sort of sexual experience...

If your partner loves you enough to get married, then i believe he should take you the way you are and accept your beautiful labia. and dont worry about of him thinking low of your labia, or about it looking whorish, large labia is sexy, and if you are a virgin, he'll find out soon enough.

kind regards

curious. x

Amanda

September 19, 2009

Simply show him this site. I think it's really disrespectful and incredibly ignorant and primitive for anyone to speak that way about a woman's body. My husband worships my "flower" as he calls it. I hope your fiance really deserves you. What a lucky guy!

The Marquis

September 19, 2009

Dear full lipped, Those kinds of comments are normally made by immature young men.  Men without either experience or knowledge.  Promiscuity has nothing to do with the appearance of your pussy and it's lips, as you well know.  Marriage being a life time commitment, perhaps you had better talk to your fiance' regarding his remarks, and find out how he really feels before you sign a lifetime contract with him.  Maybe he was just joking with his buddies, as some young men do, not actually meaning anything by it all.  I certainly don't know.  But you should find out.  The simple fact is that your pussy lips are a great gift, and make you far more sexy and attractive.  You can tell that by the letters from men assuring the concerned women about their appearance.  It's time for your fiance' to grow up and tell you how beautiful and exciting you are, and stop making disparaging remarks about pussies which are so beautiful and exciting.

hanky panky

September 21, 2009

I am troubled by your boyfriends response.
saving it for marriage is a pesonal issue. It seems that a man
who has had many lovers, probably wouldn't even appreciate.
At any rate, if he has this attitude about you, I would resolve it, or call off the wedding. He should love you the way you are.  
I think you are a lucky women, do not let all this negative talk
destroy you. People are so cruel sometimes.

Eric

September 22, 2009

My opinion (you may not like it, but it is "REAL"):

I suggest you have sex with someone else besides him before you get married.

I'm not concerned that he'll be disappointed. . .I'm concerned that YOU might be disappointed!

He's had sex with other women, yet you haven't had sex with anyone. . .sounds a little lopsided if you ask me.

Unless your reasons are religious (and I don't think they are, otherwise you'd have probably sought out a guy who shares your views about your pussy), you should "try it before you buy it".

In your case that means you should try him out before you commit the rest of your life to him.

What if he has a small cock??  What if he can't please you??

To be married at 21 and not have had sex with someone else is analogous to signing your life away to something that may not be good for you.

My wife and I have been together for almost 9 years now, but we've only been married for 2 of those 9 years.

We got to know each other, made sure we were SEXUALLY compatible (sex is important to both of us), and then got married.

I'm 30, and she's 25.

The moral of the story is that you should like most people have suggested here, re-evaluate the circumstances around which you're about to make a life-long commitment to this man.

You could ignore all the advice, and simply move forward with the wedding, only to find out he can't please you -- then you end up cheating on him, not cheating on him and being miserable, or divorcing him and become part of the divorce statistic that plagues young married couples.

I do want to point something out though in your response:

Oh and he has seen it before.  When he commented on a "nasty, loose pussy with hanging lips"  I said..."but my lips look like that".  And he said "well yours aren't that bad, they only hang some."  :(  

** Is he serious??  First of all, "they're not that bad" is not an encouraging response.  If he'd have said: "Baby, I was just joking, you know I love you, and I love your pussy too, just the way it is.", I'd be a little more convinced he was sincere.

How do I change his attitude and convince him that large, long lips are sexy and have nothing to do with promiscuity.  (They don't, do they?)  

** You should not have to "convince" him of anything.  Period.

Anyway, our responses are here for you to get some insightful retrospect into what you're about to do -- I would strongly re-evaluate the entire marriage if I were you.

tempest_driver

September 23, 2009

you can always count on Eric to say what the rest of us are thinking.

Jessica

January 8, 2010

Totally agree with Eric.
I am speechless at what you're fiance said.
And you saved yourself only to marry a man with multiple partners and so disrespectful to women?

slugg

August 7, 2014

I like big pussy lips

RS

September 15, 2014

Just remember one day you  both might want them. I've been married 31 years to the same woman. We have had 4 children, and her's are still the same size. Now when she gets horny, the expand some,(not a lot) but now that we are older {50s} we both love to se them on a woman. She wants to try weights to stretch them hoping they get about 1" to 11/2" long.

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